Stella, Get Your Man Page 4

  “Held up?” she sputtered. “Well, not exactly, more like shot at by attempted murderers!”

  Mia Lange’s eyebrows lifted and her mouth dropped into a perfect O of surprise, but her eyes remained coolly detached and I thought she seemed completely indifferent to Nina’s news. She released my hand, returned to her seat and dismissed me entirely.

  But Nina had Jake’s complete attention. He raised his eyebrows. “What happened?”

  I smiled frostily. “Don’t worry. I took care of it.”

  Jake nodded, silently agreeing to discuss it later, and started to sit back down in my chair. When he caught the look I gave him, he hastily grabbed one of the spare chairs and pulled it up beside the desk.

  “Here,” he said, gesturing to my chair. “Why don’t you sit here.”

  I gave him a withering glance, nodded him into the spare seat and took my rightful place behind the desk. Nina was right. We were so going to have an organizational meeting just as soon as our newest client left.

  “Ms. Lange.”

  “Mia,” she cooed, her eyes widening and fluttering in his direction.

  “Mia,” he echoed, “has asked us to find her brother. It seems they lost contact with each other after their parents died and they were adopted out.”

  I felt the first tiny twinge of remorse for not liking our new client. She’d lost her parents when she was a kid, too. I’d been lucky. I got to finish growing up with my mother’s sister, Aunt Lucy, while Mia got stuck with strangers.

  “I’m so sorry,” I murmured. “How old were you when this happened?”

  Mia looked down at her lap. “I was very young,” she answered. “I couldn’t have been more than four-years-old at the time. My brother was older, I think, but not much, maybe a year or two.”

  I nodded and gave her a sympathetic look. “How long has it been since you’ve seen your brother?” I asked politely. “Do you have any idea at all where he might be?”

  Mia never looked at me, instead she lifted her head and stared straight into Jake’s eyes.

  “Like I told you,” she said softly. “The investigator I hired a few years back was able to learn that he might have been adopted by a family in Surfside Isle, New Jersey, where we were born. He couldn’t find out anything else.”

  “So you’ve tried to find him before and couldn’t?”

  Mia nodded. “I was so young when my parents died, too young to even remember my siblings’ names—or even our family name. I have nothing to go on. My adoptive parents gave me the name of the adoption agency, but the agency would only tell the P.I. that my brother grew up in Surfside Isle. The records were sealed and they couldn’t give him anything else to go on. The same thing happened with my sister. The agency said she was adopted to an out-of-state family, but wouldn’t give us more.” Mia shrugged. “I made sure the agency had my name and address. I told them that if my brother or sister ever wanted to find me, they could give out my information, but that’s all I could do—wait and hope they come looking for me. I gave up until about a month ago. That’s when my sister contacted me.” Mia bit her lip and fell silent for a moment.

  “I really need to find my brother,” she said, her voice tinged with desperation. “You see, he may be my sister’s only hope.” As I watched, tears formed in her eyes and her lower lip trembled slightly. “She needs a kidney transplant. I would have given her one of mine, but it turns out I’m not a suitable donor. I’d go look for him myself, but my sister’s so ill now that I’m afraid to leave her. I would hate to go looking for my brother and have my sister die. I mean, we’ve only just found each other! That’s why I need you.” She gazed into Jake’s eyes as big tears rolled down her perfect cheeks.

  He leaned forward, patted her knee and handed her a tissue. Nina, watching from the edge of the room, bit her lower lip and frowned.

  Mia shook her head, brushed away the tears with one elegantly manicured index finger, and seemed to struggle for control of her emotions.

  “I’m all right,” she said, smiling bravely at Jake. “I just feel so alone in all this. Without my brother, I really have no one I can turn to.” She stared into Jake’s eyes. “Please tell me you can help me help my sister.”

  “Don’t worry,” Jake said. “You’re not alone anymore. We’ll find your brother.”

  “Good.”

  Mia straightened in her chair, her attitude changing from pathetic damsel to businesswoman the instant she heard Jake say he’d help. She reached into her large leather bag, brought out a thick, business-size envelope and handed it to Jake. “I hope this covers my retainer,” she murmured.

  Jake tossed the envelope onto the desk unopened and said, “I’m sure it’s fine.”

  I was less trusting. I reached for the packet, opened it and almost gasped. There were ten one-thousand-dollar bills inside.

  “I’ll get you a receipt,” I said. “Of course, there will be expenses in addition to our usual daily rate…”

  She didn’t even let me finish. She dismissed me with a wave of her hand, her eyes never leaving Jake’s infatuated face. “Of course, whatever you need. Just let me know and you’ll have it.” She smiled at Jake.

  She reached back into the bag, pulled out a manila envelope and handed it to Jake. “I’ve heard such good things about you,” she said softly. “I just know I can trust you to find him.”

  Jake beamed, while I took the more paranoid worldview of a cop. How had she heard anything about us? We’d only been in business for a month. So far our biggest coup had been the repossession of Santa’s sleigh, and I hardly thought Joey Spagnazi was bragging about what a great job we did.

  “I’m glad we come so highly recommended,” I said. “Who do we have to thank for sending you to us?”

  Mia glanced briefly in my direction.

  “My sister. She’s a bookkeeper for a local businessman and she gave me your name.”

  “What’s your sister’s name? Maybe we can find your brother by tracing your sister back to Surfside Isle.”

  “Oh, we tried that already.”

  Jake nodded sympathetically. I was less impressed.

  Mia fluttered her eyes in Jake’s direction and I wanted to slap her.

  “You see, I came to Glenn Ford, hoping against hope that I’d be a match, but it didn’t work out.”

  “Didn’t work out?” I echoed.

  Mia’s head dropped slightly and she stared down at her hands.

  “No,” she said softly. “I have hepatitis C, so I’m not an option. That’s why we’re so desperate now. My brother is her only hope.”

  Before I could ask her anything else, she stood up, this time making eye contact with both of us.

  “I only have one request,” she said, her voice firm and undeniably hard.

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  “Find him, but don’t approach him. Don’t tell him about us.” She paused, apparently remembering her helpless act, and continued, this time in her little-girl-lost tone. “It might be a shock to him, that’s all. I want to be the one to break it to him. I don’t want to jeopardize my sister’s chances by having a stranger tell him about us.” She fluttered her eyes at Jake again. “You do understand, don’t you?”

  Jake seemed to grow two inches taller. “Of course, Mia,” he said, soothing our poor little client. “Don’t you worry about a thing.”

  She reached out and gripped his arm, her eyes pleading. As she did this, I had an instant mental memory of myself standing naked in front of Jake, the same expression mirrored in my own eyes. Now, here I was, the bystander, while Mia Lange, the dark-haired pixie, was the object of Jake’s very rapt attention.

  “I just knew you’d be the one,” she whispered. “I’ll be in touch.”

  Oh, no you won’t, I thought, you will so not be touching this man. He’s mine! The thought jumped unbidden into my head and just as quickly I forced it back out.

  “How will we reach you, Ms. Lange?” I asked.

  “It’s all i
n there,” she said, indicating the manila folder she’d given Jake. “All my numbers are in there, my sister’s, my cell and my pager.”

  Jake and I watched Mia Lange turn and walk away. She strode out the door past Nina without so much as a sideways glance. She almost collided with Spike in the hallway.

  “Excuse me!” Spike said as Mia practically ran her down.

  “Certainly,” Mia murmured, apparently oblivious to the sarcastic tone.

  Spike stepped into the waiting room, saw the three of us staring after Mia and stopped.

  “Who the hell was that?” When no one answered, Spike shook her head. “Important client, huh?”

  Nina was the first to snap out of the Mia trance.

  “Oh. My. God!” she squealed. “Important? You wanna know what’s important? Me and Stella almost got killed at Sheeler’s gas station! Some idiots shot at us! Oh. My. God!”

  Spike stared at Nina, her face whitening as the news sank in. “Are you all right?” she asked. “Who did this?”

  She crossed the room to Nina, put her arm around her shoulders and hugged her. “Honey, are you okay?”

  Nina nodded, her eyes huge with remembered fear. “They could’ve killed us! But don’t you worry, I’m ready for them now!” She reached underneath her desk and pulled out the tire iron and a spray can of room deodorizer.

  Spike looked at the two objects and frowned. “Okay,” she said slowly. “I understand the tire iron, but what about the room freshener?”

  Nina grinned, pulled a lighter out from the pocket of her jeans and brandished it in front of us.

  “My secret weapon,” she said. “The bad guy comes for me. I try to hit him with the tire iron, but in case it doesn’t work, I pull out my spray can. I point it at him, flick my Bic, and push! Instant flamethrower! See?”

  She made a move to click the lighter, but Jake was faster, pulling the Bic out of her hand as I grabbed the spray can.

  “I believe you!” Jake said. “I just don’t want you to miscalculate and torch the office.”

  Nina rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t going to actually do it, stupid. What do you think I am, a pyronaut?”

  “Pyromaniac?” I prompted.

  “Whatever!” Nina groused. “I’m not stupid, that’s all I’m saying.”

  “Well, of course not, baby,” Spike cooed. “No one thinks you’re stupid. I think you’re very brave.”

  Nina quit pouting and smiled. “Yeah,” she breathed. “Totally. You do?”

  Spike nodded.

  Jake nudged me, motioning me back inside our office. “Joey Smack, you think?” he murmured.

  “Absolutely. I think paybacks are murder and he’s pissed. We’ll be on his shit list for quite a while.”

  Jake smiled. “Nothin’ we can’t handle, especially from New Jersey.” Jake plopped back down in my chair, propped his feet up on the desk and turned his thousand-watt attention to me. “Yep, old Joey Smack is gonna have a hard time exacting his revenge when we’re in New Jersey and he doesn’t have a clue.”

  “New Jersey?” I echoed stupidly.

  “Yeah, I mean, that is where the boy was born and raised. Don’t you think we oughta take up the trail there and see where it leads?”

  Jake’s eyes twinkled as he picked up the envelope stuffed full of cash and tapped it against his open palm.

  “Oh, yeah, babe. Me and you. A tiny mom-and-pop motel, all but vacant for the winter and a missing brother. Oh, yeah. What a life! It could take weeks to find that boy. Imagine.”

  I kept silent, knowing full well Jake was quite capable of hanging himself without my help.

  “Yep,” he said, stretching back in the leather chair. “Two people could get to know each other quite well in a situation like that. Intimately, I’d say.”

  There you go. Give a man enough rope and he’ll ruin every opportunity, usually with his mouth.

  I leaned in the doorway, arms folded across my chest, the perfect nonverbal picture of the word no.

  “So, you’re looking forward to a little time away, just the two of us?” I purred, enjoying the setup.

  Jake gave me the look that flipped my stomach like a pancake, savored the effect, and practically crowed. “Oh, yeah, babe. I’ve been waiting for this for a lifetime.”

  “Obviously,” I murmured. I let my gaze drift lazily down his body, stopping midway as I licked my lips and only half faked anticipation.

  Jake smiled. It was a shame to have to burst his bubble.

  “So, Jake?” I cooed.

  “Yeah, babe?”

  “Has it occurred to you that Joey Smack won’t settle for us being out of town and that he’ll come after Aunt Lucy and Nina next? Have you forgotten that Aunt Lucy is a very valuable chemist and that you remain under government contract to ensure her safety? Have you completely stopped thinking with the Big Head because the Little Head is currently in charge of your life, thus insuring that I won’t come within thirty yards of you, even if you were suddenly the last human being alive and all the vibrators had dead batteries?”

  I fired the questions like rifle shots and the effect was worth every word. Jake went from complacently confident of popping me in the sack, to confused and finally, irritated. I had him, all right, right where I wanted him. So why did I still feel disappointed?

  “So what are you saying, one of us has to stay here?”

  I shrugged. “That’s one option, or they could come with us.”

  Jake exploded. “Oh, now that’s a plan, Stella. We pack up two, maybe three cars, with your aunt, your cousin, her girlfriend and Lloyd, then proceed to Surfside Isle, New Jersey, to look for a missing person whom we are to find but not approach. We don’t have a name, a description, or any other information, but you want to make this ‘easy’ case into a family fishing trip. Oh, now that’s professional. Yeah, the Beverly Hillbillies Private Investigation Company is at your service!”

  I straightened and went in for the kill. “At least I wasn’t so busy thinking about getting laid that I forgot about Aunt Lucy and the safety of my co-workers!” I snapped. “At least I… Whoo!”

  Something cold and wet nuzzled my ass from behind. Lloyd, happy to see me, was demanding my attention.

  “Dog!” I screeched. “Get off me!”

  Aunt Lucy stepped forward. “Your uncle has something to say.”

  “By sticking his nose up my ass?”

  Aunt Lucy stiffened and raised one imperious eyebrow. “He can’t help that he’s hampered by his new body,” she said. “Reincarnation isn’t exactly easy, you know. It’s not like the Sears catalog. You can’t just pick out your new body and say, I’ll take that one! The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away!” She sniffed. “And I don’t think profanity amuses him. It’s not exactly like you’re on God’s A-list, anyway. When was the last time you made confession?”

  The conversation was definitely taking a dangerous turn for the worse.

  “How do you like the shore?” Jake asked, attempting to rescue me.

  Aunt Lucy didn’t seem especially thrilled to see him, either.

  “What are you doing out of bed?”

  “Surfside Isle has some great fishing,” he added, completely ignoring the question.

  “Surfside Isle has mobsters, too,” she retorted. “It’s cold. The wind blows in off the ocean and you can feel it in your bones.”

  Lloyd barked once, a short yip that seemed to mean something to Aunt Lucy. She cocked her head, smiled and said, “Well now, you’re right. That was nice.”

  Lloyd moaned and padded over to investigate the trash can under my desk.

  “I suppose,” she said, then turned back to us humans. “Your uncle likes to surf fish. Maybe the blues are running.” Then she frowned at us. “Of course, you won’t have much time for fishing if you’re trying to find someone’s brother.”

  Busted. Aunt Lucy, Nina and Spike had obviously overheard every heated morsel of our conversation, not that we were trying to hide anything. I looked ov
er my aunt’s shoulder and saw the other two hanging just behind her, obviously curious.

  “Okay,” I said. “We’d better talk.” I looked at Nina. “I think this time it might be a good idea to have a plan.”

  “We could start by naming ourselves,” Nina said. Then she stopped, her forehead creased in thought. “Well, actually, I think we might want to do some team-building exercises first. Maybe a trust walk.”

  “A trust walk?” Aunt Lucy echoed. “How’s about we start with a place to stay? I have a friend who’s got a house in Surfside Isle, just one block off the ocean. Why don’t we start by asking her if the place is open? Trust walk!”

  Nina bristled. “We blindfold partners and walk them around, you know, so they develop a trusting relationship and confidence in their partner’s ability to keep them safe.”

  Spike was standing by the window in the office staring down at the street. She seemed so absorbed in the cars below that I was surprised when she roused herself to speak.

  “Well,” she began, in her clear, crisp attorney tone, “I think there are more important issues to be addressed first.”

  The room fell silent.

  “Like what?” Nina asked.

  Spike glanced out the window again. “Well, we could start with the four men in the car across the street. They’ve been watching the building for about five minutes, but now another car is pulling up behind them and everyone’s getting out and heading our way, and just so you know, I think they all have guns under their overcoats.”

  The entire room exploded into quick, silent action. There wasn’t time for team building, mission statements, or a corporate name that reflected our unique abilities and talents. It was showtime.

  Chapter 4

  “Wait!” Spike commanded. “Stella, look at this!”

  Jake moved with me, taking the side of the window opposite Spike while I stood and watched over Spike’s shoulder. We stood where we wouldn’t be seen from the street, hidden by the thick, dust-covered velvet drapes that had once been elegant accessories to someone’s bedroom.

  Below us, on the busy small-town street, stood six men, all wearing overcoats and looking like movie extras in Scarface. They were prevented from crossing to our side by what can only be described as a parade float, a flatbed truck covered in thousands of roses sculpted to look like a garden scene. The trailer slowly inched down the main street of Glenn Ford, its loudspeakers blaring “Let Me Call You Sweetheart,” as a figure wearing a groundhoglike headpiece and a tuxedo held on to a microphone and swayed in time to the music.